From Despair to Peace in Amber’s Holistic Process - Jeff's Story
“The essence of trauma is disconnection… So, the real question is: how did we get separated and how do we connect?”
In this video interview (available as of October 23) Jeff, a former client of Amber Law, shares with us his experience of Amber’s holistic approach to conflict. He takes us on a journey from what he describes as initial shock and desperation on receiving a Summons that he attend Court, to the peace that overcame him once he experienced the holistic process and understood the benefits of a child-focused approach, grounded in truth.
His case revolved around his contact with his (then) underaged daughter which was being restricted and the amount of child maintenance he was paying. His former partner was preventing meaningful contact with his daughter and asking for an increase in child maintenance money. Jeff describes feeling his former partner had “all the control” and he was alone and powerless.
As a holistic lawyer, Amber steered the case towards settlement, using truth as the main tool. The truth was Jeff in his heart, desperately wanted to continue enjoying a close relationship with his daughter. This was something his former partner should celebrate and not fear. The truth also was, he was paying over and above a fair maintenance sum for her upkeep from the time he had to leave the family home, given his income, and balancing this with his daughter’s age and needs. Through a breakdown of all the sums (income and expenses) with attached evidence, Jeff’s former partner and her lawyer could see clearly he was, after all, paying just over the sum a Court would award.
Jeff says of his transition, “The anxiety and despair that I had, once you took the case, peace came over me, because when I saw you relating to the other lawyer and saw you relate to her with the truth…peace came over me”.
Humbly, Jeff explains how once he knew the matter would settle (with agreed extended contact with his daughter and paying slightly less maintenance than he was prior to the Court Summons) a part of him, ‘pride' called for his day in Court to show the Judge he ‘was right’ and had ‘done nothing wrong’. But Amber helped Jeff reflect on the negative impact a court fight between mum and dad would have on their daughter’s mental and emotional health and their respective relationships. Jeff says, “Thinking about it now, had we gone to Court, the strength and the bond that we have at this moment maybe would not be as strong as it is now… because she would have witnessed things… the fight… I am thankful you recommended me not to go to Court”.
In conclusion, Jeff’s message to other parents in conflict is, “We should not be thinking in anger or bring the child into that… we should look towards protecting the child. We were not given these kids to be involved in battles of parents”.
Dissolving legal disputes with integrity and truth whilst keeping children away from court rooms, is front row centre to Amber’s holistic lens of ‘duty of care’, "which is exercisable not only to our client, but extends to their children too".